Predators
Predators
Director: Nimród Antal.
0 Stars
You’re in a movie theatre, the music builds and a disturbing looking character appears. The other characters look terrified and as the suspense builds, you squeeze the arm of your chair. You watch, captivated, as he takes a momentary pause before uttering the completely anti-climactic line “I’m alive”.
Someone in the movie theatre instantly sniggers and before you know it the whole movie theatre erupts into laughter.
That basically sums up Predators, it’s laughable!
Imagine a combination of a terrible slasher movie and Lord Of The Rings and you’ve got the soundtrack for Predators. This could not have been a more predictable film, nor could it painfully mash up elements of too many movie genres any worse than it did. A cross between a samurai film, The Jungle Book, a war epic and a terrible movie version of Lost.
The film started with a bunch of seemingly mismatched characters landing on “a strange unidentifiable land” with no idea why or how. They were then killed, one by one, as mysterious predators hunted them. . The film is overly dramatic in both its acting and the extended long shots of the group traipsing through the forest in a solemn line. Essentially it was a series of painful mini climaxes throughout
I dragged along my boyfriend to this one, well aware of my unfavourable bias to a film, I assumed Predators was a bit of a “Dick Flick” (hey, if a girly rom-com is a “Chick Flick”) Turns out he didn’t particularly enjoy it either!
I haven’t seen the original, Arnold Schwarzenegger, version but from what I hear it is far superior to Predators (2010). Even with what I can only assume are slightly old school special effects from 1987,
I’d hate to further spoil the film for you by telling you the ending, but it is possibly the most unrealistic endings I’ve ever seen. What’s worse is that the end credits play out to Little Richards Rock ‘n’ Roll hit Long Tall Sally....Really? Does that make any sense what so ever?
Give this one a miss for sure.
Angela March