The Year in News
By: Nathan Calis
If 2011 will be remembered by one thing only, it’ll be remembered as the year mother nature decided to shit all over mankind. Queensland was the first affected, with three quarters of the state declared a disaster zone after significant flooding struck the area. 35 people died in the floods, and the damage sustained by the disaster had a huge economic impact.
Christchurch was next in line. Just as the city was finding its feet following its 2010 quake, they were rocked again in February 2011, but this time the damage was devastating. Not only did 181 people loose their lives in the quake, the widespread damage left the city looking like a ravaged warzone. Aftershocks continued throughout the year as Christchurch attempted to rebuild its city.
An earthquake off the coast of Japan triggered tsunami waves that reached the height of 40.5 meters. The waves travelled up to 10km inland, leaving behind them a trail of destruction. Whole buildings were lifted up and carried by the waves, cars were found on top of high-rise structures, and at least 15,821 people were confirmed dead. The ensuing nuclear accidents only made matters worse.
Tornadoes in Albany and snow in Auckland capped off a year in which mother nature reminded us that she’s a bitch.
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As well as being a terrorist, Osama bin Laden was known as the best hide-and-seek player the world had seen since Carmen Sandiego and Where’s Wally. He was so good Lord Voldemort even tweeted about him saying, “Dear Diary, I should have made Bin Laden into a horcrux instead of you. Apparently nobody can find him”. However, on May 2, 2011 he was found and killed by the US Navy SEALs and the world rejoiced.
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Emperor Penguins aren’t your typical beachgoers in New Zealand, but on Peka Peka beach, just north of Wellington, this was the case. Nicknamed ‘Happy Feet’ after the 2006 film, a penguin turned up on the beach and started eating a whole lot of shit it shouldn’t have. After 10 weeks of nurturing, 3 operations, and a trillion non-news stories, Happy Feet was sent on his way back to Antarctica wearing a tracker. A few days later however, his tracker stopped working. The little penguin that captured the hearts of a nation it seems was captured by something much larger.
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The London Riots was another news story that captured the world. A protest was being staged in Tottenham over the police shooting death of a local man. What ensued was an eruption of rioting within London. There was widespread rioting, looting, and arson across the city; however, much of it was opportunistic and unrelated to the initial incident.
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Will and Kate’s royal wedding attracted media attention from across the globe and made women everywhere go gaga—and not in a meat dress sort of way. Not only was it the day Prince William got married, it was also the day the world discovered Kate’s sister Pippa Middleton. In true maid of honor fashion Pippa stole the show with her figure-hugging dress prompting websites like pippasass.com to appear immediately.
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Lybia held a regular spot on the news bulletin in 2011 due to the civil war between Muammar Gaddafi’s supporters, and those who wanted to end his regime. The war escalated when a peaceful protest against said regime was met with army violence. The civil war has seen a revolution take place, with rebel forces reclaiming their lost territory. However, Gaddafi remains at large, with his loyal supporters still providing resistance.
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Shortly after resigning from his position of Apple CEO, Steve Job died, and people immediately started making insensitive jokes, like how he’s now watching us from the iClouds. Amy Winehouse was another talented individual who lost her life in 2011. The singer, whose career was blighted by substance abuse, joined the ‘27 Club’—an uncanny group of influential musicians who died at the age of 27, including Jimi Hendrix and Kurt Cobain.
Headlines of 2011:
Charlie Sheen was WINNING
NZ Breakers win maiden NBL title
Hugh Hefner DOESN’T get married
Reena gets ‘beached as’ on Astrolabe
NZ raises driving age to 16
Anders Breivik massacres 69 in Norway attacks
Kim Kardashian marries Kris Humphries
Australia wins tri nations for first time in decade
Warriors make NRL grand final
Pike River has Royal Commission
SBW makes All Blacks
Greek banks in crisis
News Of The World ends publication amid phone tapping scandal