Ibiza Amnesia
CONTENT WARNING: If you don't love house or trance music, don't wear white tee shirts with messages scrawled all over them, don't have biceps as big as your neck, aren't a eastern bloc prostitute or don’t enjoy chewing your face off in a ecstasy fuelled binge - then Ibiza may not be for you.
Ibiza is beautiful, an oasis of crystal clear blue seas and white sand beaches lying between Roman era castles. This Mediterranean island has some of the finest examples of late Carthaginian-Punic civilization and little cafes with cheep beer and delicious Mediterranean food.
But fuck that right? Ibiza isn't know for its old buildings, this is party central, the natural home of dance music freaks from across Europe - their paradise of repetitive, nauseating beats. And damn it - that's what I'm here for too.
Thankfully, I have good company. In our team of Ibiza adventures we have: Angela, party girl who's managed to sweet talk her way around every door man she's ever encountered. The beautiful duo of Maya and Vanya - Croatian born, New Zealand raised DJs who are travelling the world on their quest to become superstar producers.
But forget the beautiful people, let’s get back to the freaks. Try and picture this: two giant rooms with terraces surrounding both hangers. Now fill that space with throbbing bass and cutting treble.
Chuck in a mix of meat headed muscle men, goofy looking German guys and English men and woman wearing clothing you would pick up in a late 90s Halensteins sale.
Add a pinch of confused, wild-eyed teenage girls .Then, for good measure, put into the broth the most amazing, seductive, dancers grinding and gyrating in cages and stages above and behind you.
Oh, but there's a catch. To enjoy this menagerie of humanity you must pay a minimum of 25 Euro to get in. Drinks, even water, start at10 Euro each.
Into this madness we went.
The club is aptly named Amnesia. Maya and Vanya are DJing here in a day’s time.
We have wrist bands which supposedly guarantee free entry, but I know it’s too good to be true.
A well muscled Spaniard directs the girls into the non payment cue while I, in no uncertain terms, get pushed into the ticket area. Well dressed girls get VIP - Angus gets the bum's rush.
With little sympathy for my plight, I was told the cost was 25 Euro (otherwise known as $50NZD). I had to get in; I had to see what all the hype was about. So I paid and took the financial pain.
When the girls heard how much I was stung for Angela generously offered to get a round of drinks, this was a bad call. Drinks set her back 40 Euro. But now we all knew the score - this was not a drinking environment.
Due to Maya DJing, and wearing an amazing outfit with killer heels I was begrudgingly allowed into the VIP area. Standing in awe of the dancers below me, I cracked up a conversation with an Ozzie guy. While trying to get the lay of the land I introduced him to Angela, who was frantically working to tighten her top in an attempt to fit in with the scantily clad Russia dancers.
He put his hand out to shake hers, but in true Angela style, she decided to flash him her tits instead - yes, yes - what the fuck. He swung round and asked me if she was on drugs."No" I said, "just high on life".
On the two massive stages were; so called “trance master” Armin van Buuren, and the S-Man Roger Sanchez. Both big names in their own right. (Although I can't remember the last time Sanchez released an album anyone listened to.)
I knew I was out of place, it might have been that I wasn't wearing a white, low cut tee shirt - the uniform of male clubbers in Ibiza. Or perhaps it was that I have long hair (a no-no for your average hard core dancer).
Whatever it was I'm going to get it right on Wednesday. With Maya and Vanya playing there is no way I'm paying to get in. I'm buying the glow sticks and the fluorescent rimmed sun glasses.
Damn taste and dignity - this is Ibiza baby!
Angus Bennet
Angus Bennet is a radio journalist currently creating havoc in Ibiza.
Love to Travel? Read More! Guest travel writers sharing their experiences from Ibiza, Vietnam, Cuba, Japan and Canada
Unitec has a student exchange relationship with the Universidad Technologica de Chile (INACAP) located in Santiago de Chile.
INACAP have invited Unitec students with at least a basic command of Spanish to attend a two-week course at their University in January 2011. The course entails Spanish language studies as well as cultural studies (in English) and will be completely free to Unitec students. Students only have to pay their own travel and accommodation expenses (usually students stay in an apart hotel near the campus at a cost of around US$25 per night).
If you would like to register your interest in this fantastic opportunity to put your Spanish to practice and extend it some more, please email Jude Lydia (jlydia@unitec.ac.nz), Director International at Unitec.