Dirty Little Taxi Secrets
It’s Saturday night, sometime between 1am and 3am, you can’t be sure though because you’ve lost your phone. Where? Who knows. You’re on Queen Street, stumbling up from a viaduct club, you need to get home. There’s no way you’re driving, your keys are presumably sitting with your phone accidentally abandoned in a grubby little corner somewhere. You start to walk, it’s really not that far from Queen street to your house is it? You’ve been walking for hours and have managed to progress exactly five meters from where you started. Time to catch a Taxi. It’s at this point that problems start to present themselves. Amanda Haxton talks to John Bryant, Auckland President of the New Zealand Taxi Federation about everyday taxi problems and how to handle them. Photographs Katy Mills
You’ve had far too much to drink.
If you throw up in a taxi you will be required to pay a “soiling fee” or a “Saturday night tip” of anywhere between $50-$500 depending on the company. Bryant says this will be added to the fare at the time of the event. A soiling fee also covers spilling food or drink in the vehicle or damaging a taxi in any way. Alternatively you can quickly ask the driver to pull over, wind down a window, throw up in your handbag or just open the door (best not try this on the motorway).
You haven’t got any money.
A taxi-run is a right of passage for many young people; some never grow out of this phase. A taxi-run is pretty self-explanatory, you catch a cab and then run off without paying, it’s alternatively known as a “Taxi Gap” or a “Taxi Bail”. Alternatively you can pay by credit card in most cabs and by eftpos in Alert Taxi’s and some other companies. This is an offence and taxi drivers can lay charges.
The taxi driver refuses your fare.
A taxi can not refuse your fare simply because you are not travelling a long distance. However, they are within their rights to refuse you for being: “in a filthy condition”, consuming food or drink, being noisy, violent or disturbing the public peace, if they feel their personal safety would be threatened or endangered, or if you do not have enough money to pay for the fare. In an interesting twist they can also refuse you if you have consumed alcohol or drugs, presumably the two main reasons people catch taxis.
You don’t know which taxi to choose.
In common drinking areas there will often be a line of taxis for you to choose from. Contrary to popular belief you are not obligated to take the first taxi at the rank “You can take any one you want, it’s very important for people to know that,” says Bryant.
You can pick and choose your taxi driver based on any number of factors. You might think they are good looking. If your friends have not yet ditched you then you might want a van. Either way it’s all about looking at the taxis and assessing which one you want. “Make sure it’s a clean good looking cab, well signed,” says Bryant.
A good taxi driver should; display an ID card with their photo on it, act in an orderly, and civil manner. Their vehicle should be clearly identified with the company name and the fleet number or licensee name. They should provide fare information when asked, give a receipt for the fare if asked, take the passenger to their destination using the shortest or most convenient route and use the fare meter correctly without any intent to deceive or tamper with it in any way.
Your driver doesn’t know where he/she’s going.
Bryant recommends telling the driver where you are going before the metre starts. You shouldn’t be paying for them to check a map. “The driver shouldn’t move until they know where they are going,” says Bryant.
You want a female driver.
You can request a lady driver if you are making a taxi order over the phone, says Bryant. However, your request will depend on the availability of female drivers at any given time. “If there’s no female drivers we might send someone who looks like a woman,” laughs Bryant.
You’re nervous about your safety.
“Sit in the back left hand seat,” says Bryant. “If you sit in the right the driver can’t see you and they’ll be suspicious.” The same goes for passengers; the left hand seat offers a clear view for both passenger and driver. If you’re really concerned you should only use taxis you have ordered over the phone. “The best pick up is a telephone pick up, because we’ve got names and ID numbers recorded. You’re in pretty safe hands in that regard.”
Tell us your dirty little taxi secrets
Draft regulation to make cameras compulsory in cabs is due to be released in a few weeks. John Bryant says similar laws across the ditch have seen a substantial decrease in taxi incidents and crimes in Australia. “For the safety of the driver it’s a good thing and the safety of the passenger is just as important,” he says.
Should cameras be introduced all those weird little incidents that happen in cabs will be recorded. We asked you to tell In Unison your taxi secrets while they’re still taboo.*Some names have been changed.
“A taxi driver once told a friend of mine, a guy, that he could get a free lift if he gave him a blowjob.” Natasha
“We once did a taxi run and hid in the kitchen of a fish and chip shop while the taxi driver ran up and down the street looking for us.” Dave
“I had a really cool taxi driver once who played Snoop Dog when Snoop Dog was really cool. We ended up taking him to a party with us.” Jess
“I had a taxi driver last night that refused to wear his seatbelt and he said it was his choice and couldn't be stopped by police. He was quite aggressive, I didn't like him.” Robert
“I had a friend who wouldn’t get into taxi unless the driver was good looking and then shed start chatting them up. She wanted to go out with a taxi driver because then she’d always get a free lift.” Mary
“We had a cab fare that came to about $25 and we paid it all in five cent pieces, we were counting them out and it go to the point where the guy just said ‘get out of my taxi’.” Andrew
“I had someone who kept going down backstreets. I asked why and he said he needed to get fuel. When I checked the fuel gauge it was full. I told him stop the car and got out.” Huia
“This taxi driver guy started telling me how lots of people in Hollywood are hermaphrodites.” Mark
“My mate fell asleep in a taxi once and woke up to find the taxi driver going round and round a roundabout.” Craig
“We were driving in a taxi and we offered him a $100 bucks to go 100k in a 50k area, he did it, we didn’t pay him.” Paul