10 Best Items On Trade Me
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to win Lotto, have endless amounts of money and time on your hands? Turns out those people spend their time on Trade Me buying random stuff at ridiculous prices.
Top 10 useless things people paid for on Trade Me:
1. Two Captured Ghosts:
Seriously. These were captured by an exorcist. One is an old man who died in the seller’s house and the other is a little girl they accidentally released. They were bottled in blue tinted holy water. There were hundreds of questions on this auction which eventually went for $2830.
Q: “Hi, what are the chances that if released, the spirits may return to their old home?”
Q: “I think you are mean! These spirits need to be put to rest, there is a reason for them to be restless, and you should contact the man’s family so that he could at least be put to rest with the help of his family.”
Q: “I thought the holy water might kill them, I heard urine is a better alternative to keep the spirits healthy.”
Q: “Do the jars come with a “Best Before” or “Use by Date”?”
2. Not a ghost in a bottle:
In retaliation to the sale of two captured ghosts, one cunning seller placed a “non-ghost” in a bottle on Trade Me. “The other day I didn’t feel or sense anything unusual so I didn’t collect anything, and here it isn't! Don’t be too scared, but this isn't the real deal. I found adding a small amount of food colouring into water and then sealing in a vial at work was awesome for not collecting ghosts. If you would like to be the proud owner of these vials and no ghosts then bid away!” The winning bid was $17.50.
Q: Would you consider a swap for a face of the Madonna I found in a cheese toastie?
A: Will consider this very much. Is this early Madonna or the current model?
3. Trans-Tasman Oar:
You could have bought the oar that rowed its way between Australia and New Zealand, all profits went to the New Zealand Charity Surf Lifesavers. The winning bid was $1611
4.Scary Washing Machine (no really it’s terrifying):
An exert from this long and detailed description reads: “It's the loudest, most violent sounding washing machine I have ever encountered. It makes guests scared and children cry. I've lived with it like that for almost a year and it still scares me. I swear I actually saw a porthole to another dimension open above it just for a second, there were dinosaurs on the other side and they looked scared too. I drew a picture of the dinosaurs I saw in case people didn't believe me; they are partly red because my green felt ran out half way through. I think it would be good to paint it matt black and put steel spikes all over it and draw demons on the front, however I have added an image of another possible customisation option for people who like horses.”
Bids got up to $5000.
(Please note this trader lives in Waterview. If it was a Unitec student I urge you to come draw cartoons for In Unison.)
Q: “Oh this is classic LOL thanks for the laugh! Maybe someone can use it in a washing machine race...it sounds like it may just win or at least scare the other ones.”
A: “There are washing machine races? Do you have any more information on this? I've been looking for a new hobby for a while. I was into designing "gangster themed" hot glue guns for the younger generation to enjoy textiles with. I was trying to encourage them to put down the Playstation and explore arts and crafts more. I once managed to stick my two eyebrows together which was weird.”
Q: “Please add a picture of yourself so we can all worship you?”
A: “There is a pretty accurate self portrait of me included in one of the attached drawings, holding onto the deep freeze.”
5. A tractor with a FREE 20 acre farm:
“$1 RESERVE! .... International 574 Tractor. Has a bucket, folks and a back blade. This is a great tractor and is used all the time.” This listing made headlines worldwide and was on TVNZ’s Good Morning, Stuff.co.nz and several other news websites. The owners pulled this stunt on a whim to try sell a property which had been on the market for some time. The winner’s bid fell through when his bank denied him finance.
Q: “Are there any planned or designated motorways or tunnels planned within close proximity to the property?”
A:“Haha, this is the South Island, we are very careful who we put in power down here....”
6. Jesus Christ pita bread:
“Hungry, one morning last week, I decided to heat up some pita bread. I broke it into little bits and left it in the oven for about two and a half minutes. After the pieces began to blacken I took them out. Oddly enough one piece even looked like the "face" of Jesus. I was tempted to eat it, but for some reason I didn't. I guess what you all want to know is whether it's a coincidence or real apparition. I'm not really sure. All the same, whether you're a Christian or just curious, happy bidding!”
Q: “I wish you luck with your auction.”
A:“Thank you, but I don't need luck. I pray to the pita bread.”
7. Virgin Mary image on pebble:
There was general assent amongst the question askers that the pebble, found on a New Zealand beach, actually looked more like Mother Teresa. The top bid of $50,000 turned out to be a fraud and the seller rejected the top authentic bid of $27,000. She was convinced she could make more money on Ebay.
Q: Do you have a recent photo of a virgin that I can compare this to?
8. Key’s drawing of a flag:
Prime Minister John Key was asked to draw his version of an alternative flag on TVNZ's Breakfast programme. Mr Key gave his consent for the drawing to be auctioned for charity. The auction has also attracted hundreds of questions, including a request from one person to have morning tea with John Key should they win the auction. The Prime Minister's office subsequently confirmed he would be happy to meet the winning bidder. The wining bid was $10,150
9.Bottled beer fart!
(Listed under men’s fragrances.) Brewed and bottled fresh today. Not old and stale like your supermarket bread! Unlike some fast food outlets, who have secret ingredients, I am happy to share my recipe with the top bidder at the end of auction. Should you want multiple items please use Q&A as I am sure I can produce plenty more, although flavours may change throughout the week. I have done my best to preserve scent but I cannot guarantee to contain it, as it may seep out of jar over the next few days of auction.All sales are final. No refunds
Happy farting, I mean bidding!
10. Old fart in a bottle:
This fart is about 13-years-old and although in a baby bottle, the hole has been sealed up. Single serve, contents of fart have been listed below: Blue cheese, mince pie, baked beans, 15 pack Steinlarger, breast milk feta, cabbage, 1000-year-old Chinese pickled eggs, rum, another pie, chilli con carne, bacon, broccoli, sultana bran, big spicy Italian sausage. Do not mistake this for an old ghost, this is a genuine fart made from real food. The winning bid from this auction was $51
Q: “What colour and size was the ass that this here fart was pushed from?”
A: “It was a white ass, size 10. It started on its own but then cried for help. Time was 8:59pm, 13th September 1997.”