Dear Barbie, on magic mushrooms and shallow, vain people
Dear Ken
I really like this girl, have done for months, but I haven’t had the guts to tell her because I think she’s out of my league. Instead I just admire her from afar and occasionally think about her while I…. yeah.
What should I do?
Freddie
Dear Freddie,
If you haven’t had the guts to tell her yet I doubt you are ever going to. You will read this reply and hum ha over my advice for a few more months, wank a bit more and then chicken out again. You will grow old and lonely and take to spying on women in neighbouring houses with binoculars, regularly writing to me seeking my advice on the same situation again and again. What I am trying to say here Freddie, in case you haven’t grasped it, is grow a pair and ask this girl out!
Ken
Dear Barbie,
I’m terrified of praying mantis, they are like all over my flat, they cover the walls, crawling around all creepy, LOOKING at me. I swear they are! They sort of swivel their freaky little heads around when I come into a room. And their pupils get huge!!!!
What can I do to exterminate the evil beasts?
Gina
Dear Gina,
I recommend not eating the wild mushrooms from the Unitec grounds anymore
XX
Barbie
Dear Barbie,
I’m dating two guys at once, one is pretty hot but says really immature stuff, the other is much more mature, average looking but with a great personality. Who should I choose?
Maria
Dear Maria,
I am vain by nature, and shallow. It’s worked well for me, Ken may say little and be very bland but he looks damn good by my side. You’re already dating two guys at once so I’m assuming you’re hot with hardly any morals. Go for the hot one, who cares about personality, invest in some ear plugs.
XX
Barbie