Dear Barbie

dear-barbie

Dear Barbie,

            I can’t stand the mixed messages about “hair down there” any longer! Guys are SO picky...some want it shaved; some say it reminds them of a child? I’m not a fan of the “undercover fluff” but I just don’t know how to manicure my muff! WHAT DO GUYS REALLY WANT DOWN THERE?

Help!

Pubicly Challenged

 

Dear Pubicly Challenged,

 

Dear Barbie,

            My girlfriend has been making comments about the current state of my “pale-ness”. She keeps mentioning that she likes her men a little darker, and suggests that I get a spray tan. She’s also made comments about me darkening my hair. I’m starting to feel a little down on myself. Should I go all out and comply with her requests, will this make us both feel better?

-Feeling Pale

Dear Feeling Pale,

Dear Barbie,
 
 I am in a wonderful relationship, and everything is going really well.
 The only issue is that lately, my boyfriend is having problems
 *getting it up*. Am I doing something wrong? Is there something
 wrong with him?
 
 -Feeling Limp

Dear Feeling Limp,

Stop blaming yourself, this is obviously something that he needs to deal with. But until he fixes this “little problem” may I suggest finding a new boyfriend?

XX Barbie
 
 

Dear Barbie,

How do I move on from some one who says they don’t love me…but I love them, even though we broke up the day before Valentines Day? Can you please give me some advice?

-Lost.

 

Dear Lost,

 

Dear Barbie,

 

I am a 21 year old male, and after a night out I decided to bring a hot girl home for some fun, a week later I noticed a rash down there! PLEASE help!

Itchy

Dear itchy,

 

Dear Barbie,

My boyfriend has been really busy with exams so I haven’t seen him all this week, he’s coming over tomorrow night and tells me he will give me a surprise. What do you think it could be?

Ponderous.

 

Dear Ponderous.

It’s his penis. I am 100 per cent sure on this. Men’s “surprises” are always in their pants. If by some miracle you get flowers assume they were misdelivered to you. They were for me. You are allergic to them, trust me I know these things. Post them to me right away to avoid further confusion or injury.

 

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Dear Barbie,

The other day this guy walked past me and said “I like your shoes, and your ass”. Should I be offended or complimented?

Sarah

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Dear Barbie,

I went on a first date with this guy and was really impressed, not only because he cooked me dinner at his flat, but because he put a tablecloth on the table for me. What 18-year-old does that? I was so impressed it made me really horny and we ended up disrupting our beautiful meal by having sex on the table. Now the table cloth has… stains… on it and he has revealed he borrowed it from his mother without asking. We can’t get the stains out, what can you recommend?

Kaitlyn

 

Dear Katie,

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Dear Ken

I really like this girl, have done for months, but I haven’t had the guts to tell her because I think she’s out of my league. Instead I just admire her from afar and occasionally think about her while I…. yeah.

What should I do?

Freddie

 

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